I hate you!!
Those words go round and round my head
This isn't real...
I can't be dead
Look around as the sun goes down
And it all comes back to that fateful moment
Your lips
Your eyes
Your skin
It tries to draw me in to your lifeless world
Please help me
I'm yearning
I want you to tell me it's all right
Please save me
I'm burning
From the taste of eternity
And all those promises
False hopes and loneliness
I hate you
For what you've done to me
You've killed me
Your eyes burn
All ties as I lay here
Soul full of emptiness
Red tears run down to my chin
As I reach for the kill and my teeth sink in
The pain
The rush
The kill
To touch
What has become of me?
Please help me
I'm yearning
I want you to tell me it's all right
Please save me
I'm burning
From the taste of eternity
And all those promises
False hopes and loneliness
I hate you
For what you've done to me
You've killed me
And I'll walk alone
For the rest of my life to show
I can live without you
Tonight
You die
And I
Will Fly
Away
And all those promises
False hopes and loneliness
I hate you
For what you've done to me
You've killed me
And all those promises
False hopes and loneliness
I hate you
For what you've done to me
You've killed me
And all those promises
False hopes and loneliness
I hate you
For what you've done to me...
Well, I've been sick since last Wednesday. So I've missed the first two days of exams at school. That sucks, because it means I just have to do them on another day. And I've heard from most people that our English exam is complicated. Tre fun. English is already hard without the brainiacs saying that it is...*sigh* Anyway, my mum reckons she figured out why I've been getting dizzy spells my whole life. And all she did was pull out her not-so-little medi-book and read up on it. Then she tried to read it to me in small language so I would understand it more.
Er...mum? Are you forgetting I can understand the medical terms?
So I take the book from her and read it myself, and it looks like I could possibly have Dysglycemia. That basically means that my blood sugar levels are unstable - they go up and down all the time. It's not a good thing, because when it goes up and down constantly it causes me to get dizzy and light-headed. Yuck. So how do I put it right?
By eating more Fibre.
Something so simple is supposed to solve what seems like a huge problem to me. But I don't know what foods have fibre in them, besides bread. And there's no way in hell that I'm going to eat bread, bread and only bread for the next few weeks. No way. And I'm not stopping my chocolate, either. Last time I did that I lasted over a week, sure, but I love my chocolate. Gotta love it...
Anyway, if I make it to school tomorrow I have an exam, so I'd best be off to bed for now. I'll tell y'all what's happening L8R!!
Re!!
With my exams less than a week away now, we're all starting to feel the pressure. Any of those who didn't before are feeling it now. I've started studying, which even I'm saying is a good thing (I actually got on the computer here now to study for Modern History) but as I said before, I can't exactly study with my brothers around.
But on top of that, I fear that one of my friends is heading towards suicide. I'm not going to mention any names, because I assured them that I would tell no one of their thoughts and feelings unless I felt it was absolutely necessary. They told me not to at all, but I've been officially trained in this and I know when I have to call for help. So if that need arises, I have a few well chosen people on speed dial. Still, although I know that particular person isn't reading this, if they commit suicide I'm going to ressurrect them and kill them again. So they'd better not do it. I don't want to have a death upon my conscience, especially that death...
I've been thinking about that all day. I can't concentrate at all. While 'm supposed to be focusing in class, I'm writing - stories, songs, poems, letters...anything but what I'm supposed to be doing. And now is far from the time when I should be doing things like that. Three more school days...five more days...then the exams, which will last for two whole weeks. On the up side, I don't have to do sport anymore. That means I finish school at one' o' clock on Wednesday afternoons now. So I get to come home and do what?
Study, study, study...
*cough*YEAHRIGHT*cough* My mum wishes. I have more important things on my hands. Friends are more important than school anyday. *blows kisses* Y'all know I love you, guys, even though you aren't reading this. Murh...I'll write it on my other blog. But they know.
As for the suicidal, I'll let y'all know if anything happens. Because if anything does, I think I'm going to die myself. I can't handle that.
Hayls!!
For the second time in a while, I had a huge breakdown. It happened last night, when my mum got home from work, and I was venting my frustration because my brothers are ignorant little prats who don't know what's good for them and what's not. I hate them. I hate them both. I really do, and nothing anybody says seems to be helping. It never does. And it never will.
And I found out today that my uncle is a convicted murder who just got out of gaol. Scary...my brothers aren't allowed to know, so I'd better run.
Hayls!!
And now, briefly forget about the stories my mum told me, and observe. One of my own stories. An old friend, whom I haven't seen or heard from in six years, whose story I only found out last year. One of my best friends...gone...I wonder where she is today...
Hollie
Looks are deceiving…
You’d never guess it
I never knew
One of my best friends, my first friend
She never said a word
Looks are deceiving…
The signs were all there
But I was too young to see
Now she’s gone, lost contact years ago
I’ll probably never see her again
Looks are deceiving…
But why is it that
Her story was not to be told
Until six years after
She’d already been gone?
Looks are deceiving…
She ran away, her sister, mother and her
To escape the hell, her life
The one who made it all that way
Her uncle…
Looks are deceiving…
Hurt them, rape them
Have a little fun
Unstoppable - because of age
They were only young…
Looks are deceiving…
And now you sit and wonder
Did they ever get away?
Was that bastard “carer” of theirs
Ever put away?
